


Don't Blame Me, You Said This Could Never Happen!

by Theadosia57



Series: 'Wedding' Series [5]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8334838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theadosia57/pseuds/Theadosia57
Summary: So it wasn't Delhi Belly after all, well how was I to know. He said it couldn't happen, that should have been my first clue.This is the last part of the series. (Wedding Series part 5) Short-Story (6 Chaps). Twilight Saga AU





	1. Can One Feel Seasick On An Island?

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: There will be no imprinting in this story, I found it a little creepy that SM thought it okay that the same boy who had spent 2 books trying to get his leg over with the mother, could then imprint on her daughter. It was wrong on so many levels, but that's just my opinion!

I'm sitting on the beach pretending to sunbathe and trying to encourage my breakfast to stay with me, turns out no I didn't have Delhi Belly! I almost wish I had. Yesterday, I realised that I hadn't had my period since before the honeymoon and well, with some swift calculations and a serious looking over in the luxury bathroom mirror, yup I'm pregnant, I've got a little bump already.

Edward, predictable as ever is panicking, so far he's called our baby, 'A Monster', 'A Demon' and my all time favourite 'The Spawn of Satan'. At the moment I'm refusing to talk to him, because I don't want to say something I might regret later, unlike him obviously. He was all for us rushing home immediately for Carlisle to abort our little miracle, I told him "You get right on that then Edward and while you're at it, Why don't you phone Jenks to have our divorce started at the same time. please!". That stopped him in his tracks for a couple of minutes, since then he's tried persuading, cajoling and now threats, indirectly of course.

"The thing will kill you, Bella, it will suck the life out of you, if you insist on keeping it" he said last night, "My truck's called 'The Thing', not my baby, Edward", that was actually the last thing I said to him, I'm so disappointed in him, he's just reverted back to the way he was before, he started trying to order me to do all manner of useless things and I have refused point blank to listen, it's the Twenty-First Century here, not the dark ages! For a vampire he isn't very savvy, he never researches things first or thinks ahead just in case, it's so arrogant of him and his family to just assume they know everything, just because their vampires. Clearly, that's a major understatement as I'm pregnant!

Ah well, first things first, I need to talk to Esme, as she's had a baby she will be able to tell me anything I need to know and then Carlisle after he does some serious research. "Edward, phone your father and get him started on finding out about vampire/human hybrid babies please," I ask him and he stops pacing to turn and look at me strangely, "Dear god Edward, you don't believe I'm the first do you? After all of these millennia and suddenly I'm the first! Highly unlikely, don't you agree?" I sigh exasperatedly at him.

He hangs his head and I know exactly what he's going to say "Don't Edward, just don't. I thought we were past all of this crap? Please, just phone your father" I tell him tiredly, not letting him uselessly apologise. If he would just think before leaping to conclusions, he needs to grow out of that if he's going to be a father. I need the backing of my one hundred years plus vampire, not the seventeen-year-old boy.

I wander inside now to cool down a little and maybe have a drink, but nothing appeals so I just have bottled water. The same seems to be happening on the food front, eggs seem to be the only thing the baby is happy with at the moment. I rake around until I find my own cell and call Esme's number. "Bella dear! Is everything okay? I'm surprised to hear from you, but it's nice all the same" she's rambling a little and I'm confused

 "Esme is everything okay at home? You sound a bit out of sorts?" I say quickly. "Sorry dear, Carlisle just rushed out of the room after getting a call from Edward and I was distracted, So is everything alright?" she asks again "Well if my being pregnant counts as okay, then yes" I laugh, "What?" she shouts "Pregnant, vampires can't have babies!" "Esme, I'm not a vampire remember, just Edward" I then tell her what's happened over the last two days.

"Oh my god, he is an idiot, I'm going to slap him when you get home," she tells me and I ask her to give him one from me too. "Anyway, I don't feel well enough to travel, I can't keep anything down, the baby doesn't seem to like human food much" I mention, "So could you and Carlisle come out here please, I need another woman with me. Edward is driving me insane" I am literally blubbing now. "I can only stay strong by myself for so long Esme, I need you!"

"Don't worry dear, we'll be on the quickest flight out we can get, today" she assures me and I'm so relieved as I hang up the call, I head into the bedroom to change my clothes and pause to survey my reflection, turning this way and that, admiring my outline and stroking my bump gently, "Don't worry little one, mommy will protect you always, even from your daddy's insensitivity, I will lay down my life for you, my miracle" I murmur quietly to the baby.

I hear a strangled sound behind me and turn to see Edward on his knees in the doorway sobbing. Ah eureka, he's just realised how little help he has been since we found out, I, not some abstract stranger, was pregnant, I've been scared and confused too, while he was ranting and raving and calling our baby names. "At last, does this mean I can depend on you for support now?" I ask him in a rather sarcastic tone.

I know I'm being harsh and a tad cruel, but he needs to get his head in the game and be with me, supporting me in this unknown time, recriminations are too late and worthless, it's done, it's happening, so we need to deal with the here and now. He nod's as he rises and comes toward me unsure of his welcome. "I know you don't want to hear it love, but please know how disgusted with myself I am. I have behaved so badly, not just to you, but to the baby as well. Can you ever forgive me? I don't deserve either of you, I know this, but I will be here for you from now on. I am so, so sorry!" his voice breaks at the end and I open my arms for him, and he clings to me like a drowning man. "What did Carlisle say, Edward?" I ask warily, I hope they have considered this from my point of view as well as their own.

"Eh, well, he never got the chance to say anything, by the time I had told him and of course acted like an unthinking spoilt brat.  Esme ripped the phone out of his hand and told me to get my head out of my ass and asked where exactly was my pregnant wife? Who should have been my main priority? Who had to call her for support, because I was acting like a moron! So,to answer your question, no Carlisle said nothing. They'll be here soon, though like you wanted" he said looking shamefaced.

"We need to work together Edward, you just can't go off on one when things don't go the way you planned or do what you want it to do, okay?" I plead with him. Because I know deep down inside, it's going to get a lot worse before the end. That reminds me how come Alice didn't see any of this happening? I know she's been trying not to interfere, but this one time could have been the exception.


	2. When In Rome

I spend most of the day resting and trying to find something to eat that the baby won't reject, I am starting to tire already and this is not good even I know this. "How come your sister hasn't blown up the phone, I would have thought she would have caught this big of a surprise?" I ask as he wanders into the room carrying a tray with scrambled eggs and toast for me. "Huh! you're right, as always my love, I haven't heard from her at all, Carlisle said they were out when I called but really, she should have seen this! I'll call Jasper"

Turns out Alice had no idea about the baby, she said I was a little fuzzy but she hadn't been paying attention, trying to give us some privacy, as we were on honeymoon. So either I was shielding the baby or the baby was doing something itself? Well, we would have to wait and see, maybe Edward would be able to hear its thoughts soon and give us an idea, what was happening. I mentioned all of this to him and again he seemed surprised I had thought about any of that so deeply.

 "Edward, I'm beginning to wonder if you think I'm vapid? Just because you can't hear my thoughts doesn't mean I don't actually have any! It's really insulting the way you think of me as the weak pathetic human. I appear to be the stronger of the two of us and I obviously do a lot more thinking and less wallowing than you do!" I know it's the hormones talking but I'm getting very angry with my new husband. "You seriously need to grow up Edward and join me in the real world!" I shout at him as I rush into the bathroom slamming and locking the door to throw up once again.

"Love, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to infer you were unintelligent, it came out wrong.  I don't know what to do for you, I feel useless. Tell me what you need from me please Bella?" he begs from the other side of the door. "Have you never heard of the internet Edward, how do you think I knew how to handle our honeymoon, I wasn't born with the information, I learned it, just like everyone else!" I shout at him, I'm on the floor crying by now and feeling really sorry for myself. What the hell does he do when I'm asleep, I know, he sits and worries and achieves nothing.

The tiredness must have gotten to me because the next thing I remember is waking up in bed. Edward is lying behind me cradling my body to him keeping me cool and stroking my hair. This is all I had wanted, all I had needed for two days and at last, he's here with me supporting me and loving me. "I'm sorry Edward, this is going to get a lot worse before the end and you're going to get the brunt of it, baby" I tell him, tears running down my face, "I'm scared too you know, I need you to be strong and calm Edward, I can't do it all by myself, I can't mother you to, I don't have the energy" I sob.

"No Bella, you're right sweetheart, if I had any common sense I would have been caring for you, instead I was trying to fight fate and blame everyone else for this, instead of grasping it for the amazing event it was and being here for you" he says quietly, "I really am seeing us from a new perspective and I don't come out smelling like roses, do I?"

"All new fathers have to learn Edward, you just didn't seem to want too, don't you want our baby?"  I ask him afraid of the answer. "Oh god yes, Bella I love the fact that you can give me something I thought was beyond me, I'm sorry I made you and the baby feel unwanted!" he expounded  "I have been seriously re-evaluating myself and I know I don't know a lot about women and babies, but I should have been able to handle this better, more maturely and I promise I will be here every step of the way from now on, please don't shut me out, love!"

"Okay, together then, well the first thing I need you to do baby, please don't panic and over think it, Edward. But I think the baby will need me to consume blood for it to develop! It is half vampire after all" I say this and hold my breath waiting for the explosion, but he surprises me, just stiffening at first then he relaxes and says "I think you may be on to something there, and maybe you'll be able to eat better too, if the baby is satisfied."

"Can you hear it's heartbeat Edward? Does it seem okay, normal I mean? You would tell me if anything was wrong?" I was starting to panic, thinking of all the things that could happen. "Shush! Bella nothing will go wrong, the baby's fine and you are the strongest, most awesome woman I have ever met, you can do this, no you will do this!" he tells me and I just crush myself against him and pray he's right, that I am strong enough.

It was still early evening and we were relaxing as best we could when my cell went off. It was Rose to tell us Esme and Carlisle were on their way and should be there by morning. She asked how I was and did I need anything? I just got the feeling that they also wanted to be here for us and I suggested once Carlisle had assessed me and decided what was needed, maybe they would bring it out with them. She was ecstatic and I could hear Emmett whooping in the background, I told her to tell Alice not too many baby clothes till we knew the sex. I heard Jasper laughing at Alice's huffing about not getting to buy out the baby stores.

Edward said he'd go hunting after I was asleep and bring me back something to drink for the baby, I screwed up my nose and nodded, then tapped my belly saying "I hope you appreciate all I'm doing for you 'Squirt'" Edward laughed at me and then leant down and speaking to my belly, he told the baby how wonderful I was and how lucky it was that I was its mummy, my eyes filled with tears and for once was completely content, long may it continue.


	3. Just What The Doctor Ordered!

This time, when I awoke it was morning and Edward was sitting beside me on the bed, his laptop on and he was concentrating really hard on something. "Hi," I said sleepily. "Good morning love, how do you feel? he asked, then followed it up with "Who's eating first? You or the baby?". "The baby I think and then maybe I'll be able to keep something down, but otherwise, I'm fine, honest," I told him as I got up to go to the loo, I gasped as I glanced down. "What? Are you okay?" he was off the bed and beside me in a blur.

"Look Edward" I whispered, I lifted my top up and the bump was twice the size it was yesterday. "It's going to be a quick pregnancy isn't it?" He was right behind me as he wrapped his arms around me and cradled my belly in his large hands, "Yes It appears so, but don't worry Carlisle will be here soon and he'll be able to tell us more. You go have a human moment and I'll warm up the baby's food okay?" he said gently and I nodded and headed for the bathroom.

I was dreading drinking blood, but for the squirt, I would force myself. So nothing prepared me for the fact that when I smelt the blood, I was ravenous and grabbed it up, gulping it down in an instant. "More, please Edward" I sighed and he handed me a fresh cupful. Once that was also gone I patted my stomach and said: "Breakfast for me now, no god damn eggs!" It was unbelievable that only two cups of blood made so much difference. I was able to eat a healthy breakfast, keep it down and had so much more energy.

"What now love? Esme and Carlisle will be here about two, so we have the whole morning to ourselves" Edward asked as he tidied up the kitchen. I smirked at him, peeled off all my clothes and suggested he might like to wash my back, in the oversized sunken tub in the bathroom. Before I had finished the sentence, he'd scooped me up in his arms and we were next to the tub. As it filled I helped him divest himself of his clothes and we stepped in together.

Edward sunk to his knees and held my belly "Baby, daddy is going to have some grownup time with mummy, I suggest you sleep now, please!" he murmured kissing my abdomen. I laughed at him and said "That's a guarantee that squirt will not only be awake but will probably do somersaults all the way through" Edward turned me around and pulled me down to sit in his lap, my back to his chest, as he washed me thoroughly.

By the time he had finished I was so turned on and feeling horny, I couldn't stop wiggling my ass against his erection and he was purring and growling alternately.  I was about to turn round when he inched me up enough to slide himself inside me, we had never been in this position before and it felt amazing. We made love slowly and reverently, mindful of the baby and just happy to be as one, the stress dropped away and the hours slide by quickly.

So much so, it was only when Edward heard the boat approaching we realised the time. Suddenly we were in a comedy of errors, as he tried to get out the bath Edward caught his foot in his discarded clothes and tripped, I was laughing so much I slipped and nearly fell over back into the bath, lucky I married a vampire, who caught me before I hit the water, so when his parents arrived we were both flat out on the bathroom floor in hysterics, only made worse when I remembered we were naked. Edward wrapped a massive towel around us both and we shimmied to the doorway to see a very surprised Carlisle and Esme smiling hugely at us.

Once we were dressed and presentable, we went into the lounge where Edward's parents were waiting for us."So how are you feeling Bella?" Carlisle asked, "Well, really well now, We worked out the problem" I started to say "No Love you worked out the problem" Edward interrupted me by saying this, "Okay I did, it appears your grandchild requires blood to sustain it" I tell him, "Yes, that makes sense and how did that go?" he enquired I think assuming the worst.

Edward laughed and said "Quick as a flash, one sniff and she nearly ripped my arm off, but at least once the baby was satisfied, Bella was able to eat and retain it" Carlisle was very happy about this as we had appeared to be feeding the baby properly, before it started to basically consume me. After we caught up and found out what everyone else was up too, Carlisle suggested a check up for me and squirt. We told him the bump had doubled since yesterday and he worked out the pregnancy will be about 6 weeks, not nine months, otherwise, I was fit and healthy.

I ask them all to sit and say  " I want to stay here to have the baby, in case anything goes wrong and you have to turn me right away. I don't want to go back to Forks, where there is too much interference from outside parties who have no right to a say in my life. Also and this is the hardest thing I've had to decide, I need to appear to have died, for my families sake. So I was thinking, I'll phone my dad, tell him Edward and I are staying another week. That we've got the chance of a helicopter tour to some outlying islands. Then we could be in an accident and both die! What do you think?"

They are stunned, "Bella love, why did you not mention this?" Edward asked "Well it's been running around in my head for ages anyway, but the baby just solidified it really. it's way too dangerous to drag my dad, well all my family into this world, for obvious reasons, I doubt the Volturi have forgotten about me it's just a matter of time" They nodded and Carlisle spoke up saying "You're quite right as usual Bella, the sooner you become one of us the better, but for now it would be better if you were off the grid so to speak, your plan is perfect and when the boys arrive we'll get it underway"

"One more thing, I know Edward doesn't really want to bite me in case he can't stop! So is it feasible for him to inject his venom into me? Like, straight into my heart via syringe?" I ask and they all gawk at me, "You really are the most amazing creature, you never cease to surprise me with your foresight and problem solving, your very strategy driven, almost as much as Jasper!" Edward said with no small amount of awe in his voice.

So with all the plans ready to implement, it's time to rearrange the house Esme tells me and I watch as she directs the men where everything is to go and sorts out the large white room for me and Edward with space for the baby, she just shakes her head when confronted with the broken headboard and featherless pillows. But I'm confused how three couples can share the other one bedroom. Esme laughs and goes up to the wall near the door and starts pushing buttons on a hidden panel.

Walls rise out of the floor and Edward and Carlisle snap lock the corners and suddenly there are two more rooms, one is the outside decking area and its roof folds down from the original roof, the other is the front section of the lounge, this way they both have windows in them for light, now it's me who stands with my mouth hanging open in utter amazement and they all laugh at me heartily.


	4. Choose Your Words Carefully

I now approximately three and a half weeks into my pregnancy and feeling really good considering how fast it's going, of course, I wasn't aware I was pregnant for the first two weeks. Especially given the fact I have to drink animal blood every day for Squirt. The only fly in the ointment is nothing I brought on honeymoon fits me anymore. So I am wearing Edwards shirts and boxers as they are the only thing I can squeeze into, he seems happy with this for some reason, it must be a man thing.

The rest of the family are arriving tonight and then we will be organising Edward and my demise. I phoned Charlie five days ago and it was so hard, I nearly broke down a couple of times but feeling Squirt fluttering around inside of me kept me strong. I can't in all good conscience allow my father to be pulled into this world, it's just too dangerous. If he or my mother knew anything about vampires they could be put to death for the knowledge, that's just too high a price to pay for me to keep them in my life and I'm not that selfish. Being with Edward was my choice, not theirs so they shouldn't have to pay for it.

To say I was a little temperamental is putting it mildly! I seem to fly off the handle at the least little thing. Carlisle is awesome at side stepping my landmines as is Esme, but poor Edward he just can't seem to grasp the 'Always, but always agree with the pregnant woman' unwritten rule. He is wandering about with a kind of shell-shocked look on his face, I can see him going over our last conversation in his mind. He knows what he said was okay and that there should have been no cause for me to take offence, but I'm bloody pregnant and I can't help myself. It was the age-old, are you saying I'm fat comment, he just said:

 "When you've slimmed back down love, I'll buy you all the beautiful new clothes you want"

all I heard was:  You're fat, I don't like you being so fat, you don't deserve beautiful new clothes, now!

Esme is trying to explain to him what happened and why, he just doesn't get it at all, he's all at sea poor man. Carlisle ever the diplomat, told him "Edward son, pregnant women are like hand grenades with the pin pulled, they can go off at any time. You have to choose your words carefully, and I mean very carefully if you don't want to be caught in the explosion!"

So I spent the next few hours consoling myself by stuffing my face with all the delicious food Esme has been making for me since she arrived.  We decided to wait for the others on the beach as it was so beautiful at twilight here, Edward was sitting behind me, as I leant against him, we watched dolphins in the distance leaping out of the water and I was so happy and contented it was all beyond amazing. Out of the blue, Edward said: "Yes, she's very happy!" We all looked at him, each with enquiring looks, "Who are you talking too, Edward?" Esme asked, he looked surprised and then perplexed and then extremely happy and excited.

"The baby, the baby just asked was Bella happy!" he declared and we all gasped, at last, he could hear the baby. I was so full of questions, but he said it was more like a picture he'd seen, not a worded thought yet. He'd met Spatial thinkers before so understood the question without any problem, it was still early days in the baby's development and he and Carlisle were sure worded thoughts would come soon. He spent the rest of the time, describing the view, the sunset everything to the baby and then relaying Squirt's thoughts back to us, I had tears running down my face because I was so happy and Edward then had to explain that I wasn't sad but overjoyed.

When the others finally arrived Emmett just scooped me up gently and said: "How's it going mommy, is my nephew behaving?" "Squirt's being really good and showing daddy just how happy, he or she is in picture form" The girls just squealed happily and Jasper had a silly glazed look on his face as if he was high, I think the baby's emotions are so pure he's almost euphoric, I've never seen him so relaxed and chilled out before. Once everyone put their stuff away, Alice came up to me with a large box, I looked apprehensively at it and she laughed saying not to panic, I would approve.

She was right of course, inside was maternity clothes, ones that fit me perfectly and had adjustable panels for the baby's growth. I was so relieved that I burst into tears and everyone stopped what they were doing, waiting for an outburst. "Thank you, Alice, you have no idea how desperate I was, for real clothes" is all I said smiling and they all heaved a collective sigh, I felt bad for them. Just then I felt a real kick, not just the normal fluttering and it was powerful enough to may me wince in pain.

"Love, are you okay?" Edward was at my side immediately, "Yes, the baby kicked is all, a little hard, but I'm alright" he knelt down and placed his hands on my belly, gently making soothing circles, then he felt the next kick and spoke to the baby "Gently Squirt, if you kick too hard you'll hurt mummy, okay sweetie?" he smiled and laughed, "The baby understands, it showed me two pictures one of the big kick and one of a small one, then repeated the small one. Meaning I hope that's all you'll get Love!"

Everyone was astounded at how advanced the baby was to grasp the situation. Obviously, the vampire side was more dominant, giving the baby the huge brain capacity they all have. Carlisle was explaining all our thoughts and plans to the others, Jasper was very impressed and said so. Edward just pointed to me saying "All Bella's ideas, we didn't do a thing!" "Oh, very strategic of you Bella, could I interest you in a game of chess soon" and they all laughed, I looked around confused.

"No one will play him he always wins, even Edward can't take him" said Rose as she sat beside me, the baby was still moving around so I took her hand and placed it where the movement was, Rose lit up like a Christmas tree, smiling broadly and I had never seen her look so beautiful before, Emmett was just watching us, with a slightly sad look in his eyes, I knew he was thinking how happy she would be if they had a child of their own.

I asked Alice to take some photo's of Edward and me, but not to let the bump show, I wanted my parents to have something to remind them how happy and in love we were, that our last few days were good ones. I hoped that it would make things a little easier to cope with for them. I know that it would not help that much, but maybe a little. So we spent a full day, taking what I hoped would seem like the normal idyllic honeymoon shots.

The day for the accident dawned and Esme wearing a wig to look like me went with Edward, Jasper also in disguise was to be the pilot. They would cause It to look like a fatal bird strike, jump clear and when the chopper went down after exploding, they would swim back unseen. I'm sure the wolves would not believe it was real, but would they hurt Charlie by telling him their secret and therefore ours, I hope not. The Cullens would never be returning to forks once the memorials were over.


	5. Bruises And Broken Ribs!

The family were being extra careful around me, if I got agitated then so did Squirt, this showed up as large bruises on my abdomen and though not life threatening they were pretty damn painful. Esme, Alice and Carlisle were going back to Forks to be there for the news of our deaths, Emmett, Rose and Jasper were staying with Edward and me, they were meant to be back east at college. This was so I would have plenty of help when the time came and both Edward and Rose had medical training should anything go wrong or Squirt came early.

The others would return, in the guise of shutting up the house here on the island and retrieving our stuff once the news broke. Then by the time the inquiry was over and as there would be no bodies, the memorials would be taking place after the baby was born. So hopefully by then I would be either okay or a newborn vampire. Jasper's brother Peter and his wife Charlotte were coming here just before the others left, to help Edward if I was a newborn.

So now that we had all our bases covered, it was just a matter of waiting for Squirt to make an appearance. Jasper and I had played a couple of games of chess, although he won he said I was at least a worthy opponent, unlike the others. He was waiting for his brother to appear as they had an ongoing game running and it was at a crucial stage. I was starting to grow exponentially now, what should have taken weeks was happening in hours and we were down to the last week and a half.

The only good thing was my mood swings had levelled out and I was just grumpy all the time, grumpy and uncomfortable. The tight conditions for Squirt meant it's every movement now hurt to some degree. The last turn had actually broken a couple of my ribs. So I was on complete bed rest, for both our sakes. Edward was beside himself, unable to protect me was killing him. He was now talking constantly with the baby, trying to reduce the stress for both of us and it was helping if he hadn't been a mind reader this would have been much worse for me.

My blood intake had grown along with my size, my eyes were actually taking on a golden hue, around my brown irises. Edward had been collecting venom from himself to use for my change and we were as ready as we would ever be. Rose was my constant companion now, she kept me from going insane with boredom and I was eternally grateful, or I would me soon. We really got to know each other much better, having real in-depth conversations and she was a godsend. Rose didn't flap or panic and was very level-headed, the perfect person to have with me. Especially when Carlisle called to say the news had broken in Forks of our accident.

I was very emotional then and so sad that I'd had to do this, Edward was feeling guilty and blaming himself for me losing my parents. The only good thing about this was that Squirt had become quite subdued as if feeling my sadness as well. We had never discussed names for the baby so to distract ourselves, everyone was making up the craziest ones they could think of. Some of Emmett's were so bad, I started throwing pillows, books and almost anything I could reach to make him stop.

He was now joining names together "How about 'Rosemm' or 'Alsper'?" he said "Or even 'Belward'?" " Please stop Emmett that's terrible, next you'll be saying I should put your mother's and Renee's names together and get, eh, oh god 'Renesmee'" I was laughing so hard now that I thought I'd wet myself, I shuffled to the edge of the bed towards Rose so she could help me to the loo, when we all heard the pop! "Ouch, damn that hurt, I think that's rib number three gone," I said shaking my head and was eased to my feet by Rose, as soon as I was done Edward was there to strap up this new injury.

"I didn't know that saying could really happen! See you learn something new every day" I said on my return to the bedroom, "What saying?" asked Jasper " She laughed so hard , she bust a gut" I tell them. They were laughing at me and shaking their heads. "See even sayings have some basis in fact, they have to start somewhere," said Edward. Emmett was not going to be distracted and he asked was that it then, was I calling the baby Renesmee?

I gave him a look that would have dropped a charging elephant at fifty paces, "Not a hope in hell! I would never be that cruel to my little Squirt" I said emphatically. "Edward how about, 'Elizabeth Marie' or  'Anthony Charles' Masen Cullen? How do they sound?" I quizzed, "Perfect, Love and we can call her either 'Lizzie or Beth' or if it's the boy 'Tony'" he suggested, so we were decided, everyone was nodding and smiling, happy with the choices.

 I was starting to want this to be over and done with and then realised how absolutely selfish I was, normal pregnant woman have to contend with nine months of this and I can't even cope with six weeks. I just needed to hang on in there it was almost over and I would have my precious little Squirt, in my arms and safe.

A couple of hours later Carlisle phoned again and said that they would be coming to the island by the end of the week, there was no hint of suspicion and the consensus was looking like 'Death by Misadventure'. This would be better I hoped, definitely good news for us and easier for people to accept.

Now it was time for the others to return and I'd get news of my family, Carlisle had also mentioned having a meeting with the pack Alpha, Sam Uley. It too had gone better than planned as he just wanted to know if the Cullens were leaving and would the ever return. He didn't ask if I was really dead, basically he was going on the 'It can't hurt you, if you don't know' system.

The only ones making any noise were of course the Blacks, but the council had ordered them to drop it and let things be, I had made my choice and died for the privilege. I hope they do, as hurting my father more and unnecessarily would be hardly the act of friendship. It would not bring me back, that boat had sailed and I could never return to Washington State as long as my father was alive.


	6. The Countdown Begins!

There was now just under a week to go in my pregnancy and both Squirt and I were getting anxious, Jasper and Edward spent the whole time keeping us calm and preparing us for the birth. It would be by caesarean section and would be less traumatic for Squirt, as I would most likely be changed straight after the birth, it was not really an issue for me. Rose had spent the last couple of days waxing, plucking and manicuring me so I would be hair free and have great nails for eternity. The topic of feminine landscaping came up and I refused to have it all removed, I would rather just keep my usual neat and tidy below stairs do, thank you very much.

The others returned and were quite subdued, due to the outpouring of condolences from the people of Forks. Esme said "We usually leave places, not die, so this was very different and I feel rather guilty! The well wishers were kind and most were really genuine, sorry for our loss and talked of you both fondly. In a way it's nice to know you made a positive impact, but so sad all the same" Carlisle nodded agreeing with her. The memorial was to be held in six days time and everyone was going to have to go to that.

Carlisle took Edward and I aside to tell us about my parents and how they were coping, Charlie was being stoic, but my mother was highly emotional, about the whole thing, this was not surprising of course, but to me as that was their default outlooks on life. But I knew given time they would both cope with it, that's just the way they were. So I hoped the memorial would bring them a degree of closure.

I woke during the night two days later, convinced I'd wet myself, I was embarrassed for a couple of minutes until it dawn on me what had really happened "Shit! Edward my waters just broke, this is it!" I roared, everyone moved into high gear as the bedroom was transformed into a delivery suite. The pain was immense, intense and like nothing I had ever been prepared for. Dear god why did women do this again? I didn't know my vocabulary was that broad, but I managed to incorporate a few swear words I didn't even know I knew.

Edward was for once totally calm and in control, I told him "I'd kiss you, baby but you're never getting near my body again, ever!" He smiled, "I know Love, it was all my fault and I promise to never let it happen again" smart ass, of course it won't I'll be a vampire and we'll have endless energy and no restraint will be needed, Ooh the possibilities! "Okay maybe not never again, but not for a the next couple of weeks!" I said and I could hear the others laughing in the next room.

Everything was going well, I was on a morphine drip and quite pain free and totally high. The initial incision was made by Carlisle and then Edward had to break the hardened wall of my womb to release squirt, nothing gory or blood curdling, he didn't have to rip me open with his teeth or anything dramatic like that. He sliced it open with his fingernail, like a knife through butter. Our beautiful baby daughter was born, my Elizabeth Marie.

Carlisle placed her on my chest and I felt her little heart beating against mine, it was faster than mine, but constant and the most wonderful thing I had ever felt. The problem came when the placenta would not detach from me cleanly and allowed the baby's venom filled blood back into my body, the burning started at once but it was not enough to change me quickly I heard Carlisle saying, Edward had to take the baby, kissing me on the forehead and returning with the syringe that would change me forever.

"I'm ready, Just do it baby, I'll see you in three days" I said between little gasps as the pain increased. He leant down kissed me on the lips and then plunged the needle straight into my heart and this pain, just blew childbirth right out of the ballpark. It was liquid fire rushing through my veins and I was convinced I would just burn to dust. Weirdly I knew what was happening around me and inside of me at the same time.

Then as if I'd flipped a switch, I could no longer feel the pain. Even though I knew it was still happening, I was free from it, well my mind was and I knew it was my shield, the one that kept Edward out was now cutting me off from the pain. I was never so glad that this was my gift, the ability to protect myself. I heard Edward ask "Why has she suddenly gone quiet? Is everything okay? Carlisle?" he was in full meltdown and I did the strangest thing, I reached out for his mind with mine and allowed him inside my shield and therefore me inside his head. "I'm fine Edward, better than fine, my shield is blocking the pain baby, don't worry"

He was sobbing with relief and I could hear every thought and sense all his worries and anxieties, was this what it was like for him all the time, when he hears others? Wow so much information and extraneous idea's, how does he not go mad with it, occurring multiple times at the same moment? I start to speak to him quietly and gently, as he calms and realises what has taken place. "Of course you would come into my mind Love, anything to stop me getting into yours huh?" he said a little miffed.

"Where's the baby Edward, I don't want to miss anything while I'm changing?" I want to know she's okay and see her through her father's mind so Esme brings her back to us and Edward climbs onto the bed with me to feed a now clean and adorable Elizabeth, I see everything he does and feel the overwhelming love he already feels for her. This is as close to her as I could get at present and I am happy with it for now, but desperate to hold her myself.

We carry on like this for the three days I lie immobile on the bed with my eyes shut, almost as if I were in a coma. I  along with Edward am the first to see she has a gift too, as she shows us what happened when she was first born. Through her touch she can relay almost like a video, everything that went on. We talk for hours like this, getting to know each other and bonding, having a three-way conversation inside Edward's head and he is overjoyed.

Peter and Charlotte arrive during my third day, ready to help Edward if I become a typical newborn, but none of us think I will. I pray they are right, I don't intend to miss my daughters first year, she's changing already and I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't been connected to Edward's mind. The best bit about this was seeing just how he really felt about me and it was amazing, I will never doubt his love for me again.

The time for me to awaken was here and I was scared for the first time. I wanted to be able to be with my baby and husband, not insane with bloodlust. I was determined to be in control. I had to pull out of Edward's head as the pain was returning as my mind once more took control of my body. It was hard leaving him, we were used to being linked mentally and it was only the pain that made me sever the connection.

The women all took Elizabeth to the beach, just to be on the safe side, while I awoke for the first time and I was grateful to them, I didn't want to hurt her accidently. As my heart stuttered to a stop, I felt the fire leave my body and it was so wonderful, I lay there enjoying the utter calm. But the time had come to open my eyes and when I did I quickly closed them again, everything was more, so much more than when I was human. I peered through my slatted lids, taking everything in and getting used to the new array of colour before me.

"Well she's certainly calm" said Jasper and I smiled, I reached to the side looking for Edward, but he was no longer in the bed with me and I pouted, "What's wrong Love?" I heard from nearby my side. "You weren't there!" I told him and he gently took my hand as I reached out for him once more. As I rose to my feet swiftly, I was shocked, I forgot I'd be fast. But as I turned to Edward I couldn't believe how little I'd really seen him as a human. He was spectacular, his gold eyes actually had a little green in them, the exact shade of our daughters.

"How do you feel Belly?" Emmett asked and I spun to see him, "Holy Shit! you're huge and powerful looking Emmy!" I laughed as my eyes slide towards a nervous Jasper and I realised why right away. His scars were so obvious and intimidating, "Oh Jasper, so much pain you must have suffered, You really are an astounding man and you to Peter, you both look like you took on hell and won!" Peter laughed as Jasper relaxed, now knowing I was not afraid of them, but showing compassion instead.

Lastly, there stood Carlisle and he radiated goodness and faith it was almost tangible, "Hello Doctor Dad! I feel so good I don't think I'll be needing your services anymore" I laughed and he too relaxed and said "Well, if I can't be your Doctor anymore, can I just be you father?" I nodded and stepped into his open arms, for a fatherly hug that was most welcome.

"Well I don't think you'll be needing us much Edward" Peter told him, but said they would stick around and have a holiday, but at the other end of the island and come running if we needed them. So it was decided I was the calmest newborn they'd ever seen and in total control. The women were called back with Elizabeth and I took her gently into my arms and felt the most powerful wave of love surge through me. I had given up much to be here, but had gained so much more.

Who knew what the future would bring, but with this family, as mad as it was around me I knew we would prevail, eternity might not be long enough!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters belong to S. Meyer. Otherwise, the rest is my musings on an AU.  
> A/N: I don't usually do authors notes but, we have come to the end of the wrongs I felt needed to be addressed.  
> I may revisit a couple! I do have an ongoing one which I'm writing at present but I won't put it up until it's complete, I hate unfinished stories so I won't do that to you just in case.  
> If anyone can think of a part I've missed let me know.


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